I just spent the last couple of minutes in an email conversation with a loved one about hospice. The exercise helped me think though my objection to hospice. That is one of the reasons that the blog comments and emails help. It is always good to have a sounding board.
My issue with hospice is that I dont know what they would do to help Tracey. Can someone tell me?
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http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ETO/content/ETO_2_5X_What_Is_Hospice_Care.asp?sitearea=ETO
ReplyDeleteMaybe hospice wouldn't do anything more or different for her than you are already doing, but maybe it would help you?
ReplyDeleteThe nurses are familiar with these types of situations and sometimes can offer advice, tips, support, directives, etc.
Just my two cents.
I'm praying for you right now, Brandon.
http://www.hospiceblog.org/2004/11/why-hospice-patients-live-longer.html
ReplyDeleteHospice can support the wonderful care you are already giving Tracey, in the environment and to the degree that the two of you choose. You and Diane can only spread yourselves so thin. By supporting everyone's efforts, hospice helps you, Diane, AND Bella.
I looked at both links - Neither told me how they will help Tracey, or gave any reason to use hospice in this case. The reasons the links referenced either do not apply or are already being done.
ReplyDeleteBrandon,
ReplyDeleteI would meet with someone from hospice and ask all your questions and ask what they can do....maybe you decide now isn't the time, but it may also help you decide when the right time is.
I'm sure that their skills and experience are applicable to all cases, but you need to specifically know for Tracey.
*as a side note to commenters- if you comment using "anonymous*, please remember to sign your name.
Dawn
If we lived in a different time or place we would fear death less and honor it more. This culture we live in is not 'good' at death.
ReplyDeleteMy experience is that hospice is the closest thing we have to helping us transform death into at least a positive process - if not an adventure. They honor the experience for the patient and help the loved ones participate and support the journey. Well, maybe I got lucky with my Dad. Maybe that's what I wanted and that's what happened for me. More comfort, less fear. More mystery, less defeat.
Tracy lives on in so may ways - I just want her journey to be the best it can be - and I think Hospice is the most understanding reality we can learn from in this place to help her experience death as fully (which might be peacefully?) as she experienced her fantastic life.
Peace Brandon - for you, for Bella for all of us. Tracey is very close - and I wish her the best of peace as she moves onward.
I paused a long, very long time to write this - but Bella needs to know that her mom loved life so much - found you who loved life so much- that Bella is created from the joy of life. Her dead Mom will NOT be her defining moment. When she is frustrated and confused about not knowing her Mom or when she is sad experiencing your grief at missing her Mom, she needs to know the story of her root as a lasting, true love. Her story is not that her mom died - but her Mom loved so much she found a husband, a baby and a family that would last and last onto all the grand things that are somewhere, someday out there for all of us because of that love. It won't bring comfort most times in a hug or in the scrape of a knee - but it might bring help some times in a place if Bella can feel that core of love from which she came...
Well, humbly - that's what I see. I see people who know how to defeat death - they created a Bella of life.
Mercy Brandon - I read this blog and know that word now - Love matures to Mercy.
Mercy Bella. Mercy Brandon.
Peace Tracy -
well done.
satisfying,
big huge peace,
ciao,
dolce vita to Tracy even now with little people, small animals and your sharing the life with us the many worlds you see.
Peace
P/
Brandon: I hope you can find support in whatever way will help you now. You must feel sad and helpless but your little girl is full of feisty,comforting life. Even seeing her crying in her rocking chair is heartwarming. Know I'm thinking of you 3 for what it is worth. Judy
ReplyDelete